Another Mother’s Musings

New Beginnings
By Phyllis Lubin
Published on Thursday, June 18, 2009

A beautiful dress was chosen. The hair was cut and styled perfectly. Everyone involved knew the date and time to be there. The excitement was building all day. The babysitter was due to arrive in time for us to get good seats (neither Yussie nor Lea would be able to stay awake so late). Rochel needed to be there an hour early, so her dad was available, of course, to get her there on time. And everything worked out perfectly.

In the one day that has passed since Rochel’s graduation, many thoughts have gone through my head. Somehow, after all these years, I can still remember my junior-high-school graduation. (We called it “junior high school” then, not “middle school.” I’m not sure why the change was made, but perhaps somehow “middle” is now deemed more appropriate.) My junior-high-school graduation stands out in my mind more so than my college graduation. I never had a high-school graduation, since the “fad” at the time was to go to college on early admissions; and I missed my law-school graduation, since I gave birth to my eldest son, Naftali, the day before that big day. College graduation day was shared with hundreds of other graduates that I didn’t know, listening to speeches from people I had never met, and the attendance was so huge that there was no way I could spot my parents or any familiar smiling faces.

Graduation from junior high school was much more intimate. It was conducted in the school gym on Washington Avenue in Lawrence. My graduating class comprised about 30 students (compared to almost 100 in Rochel’s graduating class). Everyone knew everyone else’s name, and I certainly got to see the smiling faces of my parents, grandparents, uncle, and brother as I received my diploma.

Fast-forward a few decades, to June 14, 2009. My 13-year-old daughter, Rochel Raiza Lubin, has reached this milestone. Too big a crowd to meet in the school gym where I graduated, we gathered at Congregation Beth Sholom (next door to the school). The shul was filled to capacity. Hundreds of smiling faces watched their loved ones. A new tradition began this year, as alumni of the school were invited to personally present the diploma to their loved ones. As my husband and I are both alumni of this fine institution, we were both called to the front to present Rochel’s diploma personally. I had my moment again, as I had so many years before, to see my mother’s smiling face before me, although this time with an added ingredient—my amazing daughter Rochel.

I cannot complete this column without shepping a little nachas. My daughter Rochel is indeed special. She has blossomed into the mature young high-school woman she is today. Her kindness and caring towards her grandparents, siblings, parents, and friends is known by all. Specifically, her patience with her younger siblings is remarkable. Her dedication to helping out at the Kulanu Sunday program is truly commendable. She actually began her “work” at Kulanu eight years ago, before Yussie was old enough to attend, as a “friend” to other children with disabilities at Kulanu.

For the past month, since my dad’s injury, Rochel has been by my side on countless trips to the hospital, and now, thankfully, to visit him at home. She knows just the right things to say and do to cheer him up. In fact, she enjoys helping him with the laptop computer to enable him to use e-mail and stay in contact with life outside his house. Rochel knows just the right way to cheer anyone up when they are down. Her enthusiasm is contagious!

According to the dictionary, graduation is the “conferral or receipt of an academic degree or diploma marking completion of studies.” I think I would like to add another facet to this definition: “Conferral or receipt of an academic degree or diploma marking a new beginning in life.” A promotion, if you will, to another level in the course of a lifetime. As a high-school student, even more will be expected from our graduates, and I have the faith, along with Rochel’s entire family, that she will use the skills that she has acquired to succeed at anything she wants in life! Mazel tov!


Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at MothersMusings@gmail.com.