How You Can Help Your Child Learn to Be a Good Self Advocate

It is never too early to start teaching your child how he or she canadvocate for himself or herself. Like manyother important life skills, self-advocacy is a critical tool your childneeds in order to achieve goals, increaseself-sufficiency, and become a successful young adult. It is a life-longprocess that begins with your childlearning by watching you, as a parent, be a good advocate.What exactly does self-advocacy mean? It means taking the responsibilityfor communicating one's needsand desires in a straightforward manner to others. It is a set of skillsthat includes:* Speaking up for yourself* Communicating your strengths, needs and wishes* Being able to listen to the opinions of others, even when theiropinions differ from yours* Having a sense of self-respect* Taking responsibility for yourself* Knowing your rights* Knowing where to get help or who to go to with a questionOne of the best places to start teaching your child about self-advocacyis in his or her Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings.Including your son or daughter in the IEP meeting provides him or herwith an opportunity to learn and practice important life skills. Someadvantages your child may gain by being involved in the IEP processinclude:* learning about the impact of his or her disability* practicing goal setting* building teamwork skills* developing an ability to speak up for himself or herself* participating in a process of resolving differences* gaining an understanding of his or her strengths and needs* learning how to ask for and accept help from others.Even very young children can contribute to their IEP meetings. If youfeel your child is too young to participate in the entire meeting, youmay choose to include him or her just in the opening of the meeting.This helps your child to know the IEP team members better and to startto be more comfortable in a meeting setting. It also ensures thateveryone at the meeting starts out with your child as the focus. If yourchild does not attend the IEP meeting, you can bring a picture of yourchild to display at the meeting. You can also receive your child's inputbefore you attend the IEP meeting. Ask your child if there is anythinghe or she would like to share at the meeting or to have you share. Itcan also be very beneficial to ask each team member to state onepositive trait or skill your child has as you begin the meeting. Be sureto include your child in this sharing of positives. After the IEPmeeting, sit down with your child and explain the goals and services oranswer any questions your child may have.As your child becomes older, the ways in which he or she can participatein his or her IEP meetings greatlyincreases. It is important to discuss the meeting process with yourchild beforehand. Role-playing being in anIEP meeting with your child can be a great teaching tool and may helpyour child to feel less anxious aboutparticipating. Ways for you child to be involved are not limited to, butinclude:* Writing down ideas, questions, and concerns before the IEP meeting* Rehearsing what he or she wants to say in the IEP meeting* Introducing him or herself* Talking about his or her interests, strengths, and desires for thefuture* Explaining his or her disability to the team* Leading all or part of the IEP meeting* Helping the team develop IEP goal areas* Asking for explanations if he or she doesn't understand something* Reviewing what the team has agreed to at the end of the meetingSome questions you may want to discuss with your son or daughter priorto the IEP meeting are:* What do you want to learn or work on this year?* What are your special concerns for the school year?* How do you learn the best?* What do you need to be successful?* What would make learning easier for you?* What do you wish your teacher and other school staff would understandabout you?Discuss with your child how to handle the situation if somethingnegative or difficult to hear is said about himor her in the meeting. Determine at what point, if any, you would stopthe meeting and have your child leave. If the meeting is likely to betoo stressful or negative, have your child only attend part of it anddetermine theagenda ahead of time with the team. Be sure to include your child'sinput on the agenda. If your child choosesnot to attend a meeting, ask if he or she would be willing to shareideas or opinions in writing or on tape toprovide to the team.Federal special education law (Individuals with Disabilities EducationAct) requires your child to be invited tothe IEP meetings anytime transition services or needs are to bediscussed. Transition is about planning for yourchild's future and taking a look at his or her skills in the five areasof employment, postsecondary education,home living, community participation, and recreation/leisure. InMinnesota, transition must be addressed by age 14 or ninth grade. Also,when your child reaches the age of majority (18 in Minnesota), allparental rights will transfer and he or she will be signing his or herown IEP. Therefore, your child needs as much practice in self advocacyas possible before turning 18.Teaching your child self-advocacy skills will benefit him or herthroughout the school years and far beyond into adulthood. Knowing andexercising your rights as a parent are the first steps in teaching yourchild to become a strong self-advocate. For more information on specialeducation rights, please contact PACER at 952-838-9000 or1-800-537-2237.PHP-c95PACER Center, Inc.(c)2004, PACER Center, 8161 Normandale Boulevard * Minneapolis, MN55437-1044Voice (952) 838-9000 * TTY (952) 838-0190 * Fax (952) 838-0199 *Toll-free in Greater MN (800) 537-2237Web site: www.pacer.org * Email: _pacer@pacer.pac_ (mailto:pacer@pacer.org)